News – A 19-year-old Lincoln woman has been arrested for statutory rape for allegedly having sex with a 14-year-old boy in her car. When King stopped the car so the alleged victim could get a bag he had left behind, she allegedly told the other boys, "I'll rape him if he doesn't have sex with me," according to the arrest affidavit.
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Ridiculous. I mean, maybe 14 is a little young, but not by much. Talk about tying up the courts with pointless garbage.
I'd look at it this way. In 4 years, she'd be 23 and he'd be 18 .. and that'd be fine (the age diff). Of course, at the age he's currently at ... she should know better.
She should. Maybe she was on meth? We have a real problem with that around here.
Not that I think it was still right but really what a waste of court time. If this was a teacher, a nurse, or some other position in authority I can see the hulaballo, but she was only 19 and he 14? Somehow I don't either being mature enough to well...you know.
In older situations when a woman takes a man by force I think they call it assualt with a friendly weapon (lol) unless violence is involved. It happened to me once when I was younger (but not that young) I whispered help at the top of my lungs!
If it were the other way around, I think there would be alot more people on here wanting the man crucified.
You bet! That's exactly what would happen.
What's really strange, is that if it happened in Canada, it would be perfectly fine! (The "legal" age in Canada is 14, although some politicians are pushing to raise it to 16).
you might be right, but no one was forced....though I agree that 14 is too young
It's not really a "double standard", because of 3 points :
1 - The strength. Most men can physically force a woman, not the opposite;
2 - Second point, a certain part of the male body is involved, and if he DOESN'T WANT, well, nothing will happen.
3 - A woman might be scared to death when she is threatened that way, while a man would be just offended or annoyed, that makes a big difference : the "amount" of danger is not the same, and so the punishment.
But I agree with the rest of your post, and what she did was absolutely not wonderful...
Strength is not the only thing used to force a person to have sex and all a woman has to do is threaten an man with yelling rape and he knows he's trapped.
Your second point is not always right as well, many a men will testify they have very little control of Mr happy when the possibility of sex comes into play.
Your third argument is not true at all. First women are not all the weak helpless beings that they would have you think, many have taken defense training and can present a formidable challenge to anyone that tackles them. Top that of with the way people manipulate their victims with anything they can use women are just as dangerous as men.
One crime one punishment.
Women are definitely not the weaker of the two sexes. If anything just the opposite.
But the crime really isn't nor should not be the same, unless violence is involved. Let's face it the boy isn't going to get pregnant, and even if it was seduction, he consented. He now knows he's the victim...howbeit willing one?
But he can't consent to sex with a nineteen year old, not in any way shape or form.
Regardless, she was 19 and a legal adult. There are many 19 year olds that wouldn't have done the same thing in the same circumstance. She can vote, she can be independent from her family with her own apartment, car, etc. She can also keep her pants on. Being an adult means accepting responsibility and not picking bits and pieces of adulthood.
So, you're saying that even though it's against the law, nothing should be done? Where exactly would you place the age limit on statutory rape and child molesting if an adult, according to you, should be able to have sex with seventh and eighth graders?
I'm not really sure. I think that we need to use some common sense here. She wanted to have sex with him and he consented. But, I don't know exactly how or where we draw the line on this. I am NOT in favor of adults having sex with children, but if a 20 year old man and a 15 year old girl have sex is that child abuse? Molestation? I think it depends on the circumstances and not so much the ages of the people involved.
"She wanted to have sex with him and he consented. "
Well, that's why states set "age of consent" laws, and she obviously broke it. Simple fact is, a 14-year-old boy is not mentally fit to make those kinds of decisions. Apparently, neither was the 19 year old hoe.
Throw the book at her! What's next? He fathers her child or contracts an STD? Way to ruin the poor kid's life. She must be nuts if at her age she has to hang out with middle school kids.
Right on, let's ruin both of their lives! That's what we really need is harsher sentences and more people in jail.
Come on. They were a couple of kids that made a mistake. Stupid? Sure. Not mature? Sure. Criminal?
exactly.
No reason whatsoever to ruin both of their lives forever, his or hers. Neither were obviously sexual predators nor even close. But the nonedarethealls have managed to get our sexual predation laws and rape laws so askew its virtually impossible to tell where your sexual predators are now because there are so many names on the list that don't belong there, simply because of nit picking like this. As a result you can get a list from your local police department which will be about 30 pages long, front and back. Egad....you say, until you do some research. Wife and man have argument, one of them whacks the other, not seriously, just a fight mind you. But they almost always file the charges against the man, and even if they are dropped in court, they don't have enough time to remove them from the list. Justice? Not hardly.
I think, in this case, there are a lot better ways to handle it, rather than ruin either of their lives. Some folks are so full of hate. Obviously neither of these two were.
I'd like to find the 14 or 19 year old boy or girl who's mature enough to really be an adult. Some think they are but we all know they aren't. They're still children, just larger ones.
There are two sides to the coin, first is that the law is there to protect children from adults who would use them. But lets look at this case and judge it on it's own facts, first it was her intent to have sex with this boy even though he was a minor. The problem is not just a matter of numbers as in Canada it would be legal but nobody would claim it would be healthy. Here a thirteen year old girl was dating her steady boyfriend who was fourteen. She wanted to move to the next step and have sex but he wanted to wait, she pressured him by telling him she would find somebody else if he didn't agree. long and short they did and her parents found out and he was charged under our criminal code and is now labeled as a sex offender. This is fact, not fancy, it's what happens when laws are brought in but not thought out properly.
Well, they are not a couple of kids. She is 19 and as far as I know, at 18 you're an adult. I believe there is a double standard in this country about sexual abuse. When a man commits this crime, it is because he is a disgusting, perverted man. But when a woman is charged with the same crime, people tend to feel a sense of pitty for her and believe no crime was committed. It seems like most of you believe that the statutory rape crime only applies when an adult male has sex with an underage female.
I know it seems like a double standard but let's face it. The crime isn't nearly as heinous for a boy than it is a girl. He, for one, isn't going to get pregnant. The mentality, I'm sorry is also different. Unless there was violence involved on her part, I really don't see a felony here...misdemeaner maybe, but even then, there are much better ways of dealing with this than ruining either one with criminal records. He obviously consented to her seduction?
You are right, libs, and I rarely say that. However, the problem with the "age of consent" laws is that none of the states agree on what the law should be. Some states say 14, others say 18 and others still say it depends on the ages of the parties involved.
The point that matters in this case is the age of consent in the state in which this occurred. He was clearly underage, so it would seem, if they can prove sexual contact happened, that the prosecution has its prima facie case.
I think all laws on age of consent should be based on age differences, it gives the courts more room to work but lets young people have some latitude to be human.
Well, if they are in their teens or younger. I've personally dated women 15 years older than me, prefer older women, but that is me.
The last one we joked about me being the paper boy and she being the woman in the house, or was she once my baby sitter? We both laughed at that, and I suppose it was a feather in her bonnet because of couple of her friends were envious that she was able to attract a man 15 years younger. A couple of her friends were as attractive as she was but apparently they hadn't considered dating younger men...until she did.
I hear you but we still need to protect our children regardless of what sex they are. Children are not adults sex toys.
>if a 20 year old man and a 15 year old girl have sex is that child abuse?
Yes
>Molestation?
Yes
>I think it depends on the circumstances ...
No
I remember on the old "Loveline" show, many times a young woman in her twenties would call in with a sexual problem and the hosts would stopper her and ask the two questions "How old were you when you started having sex?" and "How many babies do you have?" It was like "Name that tune": some damage can be spotted in a sentence or two. And a lot of stereotypes are right. In a tremendous number of those cases, the women involved had started having sex before 16, and were now in their early twenties raising two or three children.
The average age for first sexual intercourse in the US is 17.9 years. When it starts before much that, there are usually one of three causes:
1. A much older partner
2. Drug use
3. Sexual abuse
Well, I would say that the answers are maybe, possibly and yes.
If a 20 year old man has grown up with his neighbor and they have known each other their whole life, they started 'dating' when he was a freshman in college (at 18) and she was only 13. They didn't think it was right to have sexual relations at that time so they waited until she was 15. Now, he's 20 and if caught is going to jail. Is that child abuse? Hardly.
Is it molestation? Hardly. It really does depend on the circumstances.
I went to high school in rural America and there wasn't a virgin in the place after their sixteenth birthday. Well, maybe a couple of the guys, but none of the girls. Did some of the girls go out with older guys? Sure. Heck, I had a senior girl take me to Prom when I was a freshman.
As for your 'average age' it depends on whom you ask. Some sources say 16 is the average age across all races and religions others say 17. It depends.
Again...this 15 year old girl could be having sex with every kid in the neighborhood her age but then has it with a 20 year old and he would be charged with rape? If he forced himself on her, took advantage of her while she was intoxicated or slipped her a date rape drug? Yes.
Just recreational sex? No.
Years ago our pediatrician informed us that kids are having sex in the first and second grades (this is in the Metropolitan USA) due to the influence of MTV and sexually charged movies and TV. Recently, in a local middle school (akin to jr high), a large group of kids were busted for playing a sex game a school involving colored wrist bands and performing sexual acts on campus. (Apparently something going on nationwide in high schools.)
When it comes to kids, life immitates art..or, have those of us who are older forgot how we were influenced as kids?
This is just a symptom of the cultural disease. No one wants the cure..
"The average age for first sexual intercourse in the US is 17.9 years."
Closer to 17.0, with girls starting a year earlier than boys. Roughly half of all high school students have had sex, and the number climbs to 62% by the senior year. Roughly 1/3 of all US girls are pregnant for the first time by age 20. (2002 figures) In years past, teens started having sex even earlier than that, did not use birth control as much, and got pregnant more often.
"The average age for first sexual intercourse in the US is 17.9 years"
Where did you come up with that number? A study I saw a few years ago was before her 13th birthday. It's hard to get kids admit things like that and drugs and smoking, but 17.9 is way off the mark.
That's funny. I lost my virginity at 15 to my girlfriend who was 16. Neither of us were abused or used drugs. And I even ended up marrying her after dating all through college.
I know of a lot of people in my high school who were sexually active before 17. As far as I know they were perfectly healthy and weren't with people who were over 18.
I am not too sure where I stand on this.
On the one hand it is against the law. Of course people would all be raising a stink if the roles were reversed.
On the other hand as Bkumm says the boy did consent to said act, and I know plenty of teens who are mature beyond their years and many 30 year olds who still should be living with their mommas because they can't take care of themselves.
I would need more info to come to a true opinion on this.
P.S. thanx Bkumm.
No worries. It's a complicated topic.
The boy according to the law can not consent to have sex with a nineteen year old, remember that.
Why thank you! I'm sure I would disagree with some of your morals as well, but of course, my values don't allow me to attack you personally.
Bkumm, this is a touch issue and some people don't want to use logic to debate it, keep asking the hard questions as we can not afford to keep our collective heads in the sand.
I do what I can.
Sorry, touch = touchy. With the context of this story I thought I'd better fix that.
No worries.
So let's see...if she were 16 or 15 or 14 this would be no big deal because teens are having sex all the time, BUT, because she is 19 she heeds to get busted? Get real. She was not in a position of authority over this kid and he consented. The other two boys in the car probably would have had sex with her too if they had the chance. And, don't you know he is now 'the stud' amongst his friends.
When a movie like "The Summer of 42" is considered a classic and so many other movies and TV shows depict teen age boys with older women as attractive and desirable what do you expect? Being with an older girl/woman is a fantasy of most males and a badge of honor to wear around friends.
Most of those boys who were 'victims' of their teachers recently are the BMOC. I bet if they could, they would do it again. There were teachers I would have had sex with if I could have.
Does it make this right? Not neccesarily. I do believe it needs to be looked at on a case by case basis.
But the law needs to be applied the same with under aged boys and girls. And the fact is if the roles were reversed we would be screaming for his head. And how do you think society benefits when we teach our males they are entitled more access to sex then females. Your getting close to telling boys to do it but girls their not allowed, and thats plain trouble.
> maybe 14 is a little young
No, it is very much too young. In terms of emotional maturity, the difference between that boy at 14 and that boy at 16 is much larger than that boy at 16 and that boy at 18 which is much larger than that boy at 18 and that boy at 20.
In some cases I'm sure that's true. But, in some cases it is not.
"emotional maturity?" - MY A$$.... He was probably well-endowed, which got her hormones raging!
I take it you don't have any 14 year old sons. This chick is obviously troubled. The fact that she is attracted to a 14 yr. old is one thing (they still look like little boys) but the fact that she mentioned raping him if he didn't have sex with her is something else. She needs some kind of help. If it were my son I would beat her ass myself.
Thats a long bow you're drawning there DivaGirl. My nephew is 14- he's 6'3" (190cm), built like a brick out-house and has blond hair and blue eyes. He is hounded day and night by girls much older than him. He (fortunately) see's it more of a source of embarassment and would rather train and play sport. I think my brother and sister-in-law are quite relieved they chose to send him to an all-boys christian school.
Like it or not, kids are getting way beyond their years these days. Some blame hormones pumped into chicken breasts, some blame MTV, I wish I knew the answer.
In size you are right, they do mature so fast but emotionally they are much slower than teens were years ago so they need protection now more than ever.
DivaGirl the age difference in the eyes on someone older yes is a big gap, but keep in mind they are in the same highschool age demographic and I don't know how it was when you were in highschool, but kids mix between grades so its not that unlikely for a senior and a freshman to "go out" which is the general idea of this age difference. Also rape is used much loosely than in the past and is more of a flirty word when used in the right context than the literal meaning of it. Hopefully you can understand that.